If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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