I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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