He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
