I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
