he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My vagina is officially offended.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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