my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize