i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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