I didn't shave. On purpose
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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