I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
