last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
