Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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