my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
