I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
