how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
