I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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