I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize