summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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