Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A bitchslap is in order.
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