She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
