My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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