He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
