You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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