I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
