508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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