they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
