I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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