I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
