How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
