forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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