Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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