You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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