I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
