I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
