I think I am morally bankrupt
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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