His pubic hair was longer than his dick
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
