I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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