I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
