just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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