I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
