If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
