She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
