i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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