Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
