We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
