It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
