Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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