Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
