the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize