he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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