Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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