you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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