So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
