I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I need a burrito and a hug.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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