guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
