You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
