you mean i was at the winter classic?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize