Moan for me like Helen Keller
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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