he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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