How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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