This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
