Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
