She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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