I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
